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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
23/9/09
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WHEE~~~~ birthday!!!!!!!
OMG! im 15! thats like so old and agedddd la!
ok...first things first: IMPT update: i will be constantly tagging my posts so as to make life easier for myself and you...if you want to find a post of a certain category, its all listed down there!
ok
thank God for 15 awesome years of my life, for putting me where am i now, for putting me in this awesome CCA which i have make So many friends in, thanks for making my life better. Thanks for everything!
Today went quite normal…cleared RC room in the afternoon…felt quite accomplished…
Then bought drinks using money from *censored* …yah…
Lets see…oh yah
Today philo liao…um…discussed abt Confucius’s so-called Superior Man…how’s he should be and all that
Not sure if the list they gave was accurate…but living according to that list is impossible man…
It gives description of someone who is both mature and pure…I guess when someone reached an uber-high stage of maturity, he will discover that it is pureness… kinda like babies…
Those qualities are pure and untainted virtues…”we are born with them, but we need to find them within us” this shows that we are born good, but the big bad world has polluted us … it is human nature to do good…but the worldly desires and others actions taught us how to deceive, lie, cheat and use all kinds of lowly measures to bring us what our greed demands…is all these cause d by our in-built desires, or are we influenced by the others around us?
Ok…lets say that I put on a façade of smiles, but deep inside, I am hurt and feeling cold…would anyone notice my fake smile, would anyone care? Why would people do such things, why are we so insensitive? Words are powerfully weapons against hearts and souls. The damage they cause, the wounds they inflict, may never heal…
Hmmm….a bit the poetic…
PJ going liao…sigh…she has impacted me a lot man…guess you have to let go…
Lastly,
THANKS FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES EVERYONE! THEY TOTALLY MADE MY DAY!Labels: contemplations, my life, personal problems
Posted by william the weirdo at 5:08 AM
Sunday, September 6, 2009
6/9/09
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POC over.........
very stressed during the day itself, debates party clashed with POC debrief.
somehow nobody seemed to understand the importance of Debates to me......
emoed quite a lot during that day...
i dont want to make a decision yet....
i love debates, i love RC.... i enjoy both tremendously....
haiz...need to talk to someone about it.....
should i follow my heart, or follow logic?
sigh
sighLabels: personal problems
Posted by william the weirdo at 6:49 AM
Thursday, August 27, 2009
27/8/09
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whee~ has been living in boardng for almost a week now...
not bad....can wake up late everyday....and sleeps late too
can use msn, facebook during prep, just dont get caught can liao
i emoed a bit this morning....dunno why...self-doubt?
i shall try to explain my emo-ness
i believe in a few things
1) we should not impose our personal beliefs on others
2) i hate certain people
these few days i am seriously loathing some people
some people who cant put their prejudices down for 5 minutes to be a fitting judge
some people who cant respect others
some people who claim to be christians but goes against many things that the Bible theach us
some people that just cant seem to understand that we are all humans
some people that enjoy causing harm to others, be it physical or mental
some people who are pusedo-christians
i really feel like causing harm to these people
some of them are scums of our society and dont have the right to esxist, let alone to be studing in RI.
however, i started to think that i am contradicting myself. by judging these people, am i contradicting my belief that we should not impose our beliefs on thes people? arent i wishing to take my version of justice, and wipe them of the face of our society if i can? am i not imposing my ideals?
but arent most of these ideals those that which we build our socitey on? "all men are created equal" isnt this what our society believes as well? then am i still imposing my beliefs on others?
am i justified to hate them?
........
.......
......
.....
this doesnt change the fact that i still loathe them though.
i tried hard to love them, but i just cant.
why are these people that i hate claim to be christians
oh God, pls let me love, tolerate them, or let them change their ways. Amen
now onto the second part (this is going to be the longest post)
when someone is tempted with the greastest tempatation, does his actions reflect his true personality? of course if he is not shaken, then hes a good person lah.
but what if he sccumbed to it?
how many of us will do something bad, if we can be garunteed not to get caught?
is the greatest temptation a true test of who we are?
how many can pass the test?
......
....
..
.
placed under a strict system, none of us will do anything out of the line.
does that reveals our true selfs?
what is a suitable test then?
do we even hae a true self???
ok
thats enough random contemplations for a day.
see ya~Labels: contemplations, my life, personal problems
Posted by william the weirdo at 4:46 AM
Thursday, August 6, 2009
6/8/09
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hi all again.....
today's RLP opening wasnt bad... quite fun.
had some fun games and all that, played basketball and went gym before that, met some new people.....
why does everyone act so shocked when they heard that i am going LAN/going gym/play com games. i know i need results to go in RI, but i am not a mugger, i have a social life other than studying....
which nicely leads me to the thoughts that i have today.
i believe that in the world today, having good grades are not the most important anymore. what is important is what process through your head. mugging does not reflect ones personality, ideals, beliefs and way of thought. a social life is just as important as it teaches you soft skills and such. these are what makes you you, and those schools/companies in the future wants to accept/hire you, not some mugging machine.
therefore, pls think, it is what makes us humans where we are. without thoughts and philosophies going through our brains, we are only concerned about having a comfortable life, money and other worldly desires. then what is different from the animals then?
i pity those who only having studying in their life.
anyway, one may ask what is the point of all these thought like meaning of life, world problems and such. well, i can only say that its your life, although discussing these stuff may not seem to have any impact, but it enriches your way if thinking, make yourself question, ask, contemplate about stuff. and if we dont even have a thought about a thing, how are we supposed to change it?
now for the emo part.
am i an extrovert and an introvert? i act like i like talking a lot, but i seldom share my deep and innermost thought with other people.
i think i am an extrovert on the outside, an introvert in the inside
had a discussion with someone yesterday.... haiz.... it was quite good
this blog shall remain as one of the few ways my inner mind opens to others.
so if you are curious about what goes on in my head that i did not tell you, check back often :PLabels: contemplations, my life, personal problems
Posted by william the weirdo at 6:37 AM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
emo
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i really dont know whether i should say what i want to say, i am struggling with myself these 2 days and i just feel so emo and down sometimes and happy sometimes.
i probably should face my problems *sigh*
i viewed one of my friends in china's blog, she talked about how she feels about the impending exams. i chatted with her via MSN an below are the thoughts i had afterwards.
on my resume to RI, it stated that i am an adptable person. so what? what price did it came at? what did i scarificed to become so-called "adaptable"? i rather i am not adaptable and stick in a place for the majority of my life. i havent spent more than 2 years in any school, with any particular guy/girl. i feel like a pathetic frog in a pond, i try hard to get myself familiar to the surrondings, after 1 year or so, when i started to make friends, get to know people and starting to enjoy it, i got scooped up and thrown in another environment, and need to start all over again. people takes time to warm up, and its not their fault to behave coldly/badly to a guy that butts in from nowhere. everytime when i feel that i am a part, i will be teleported somewhere else. sometimes i just feel so extra and left out as an outsider,but its not their fault, really, it isnt. Xavier has commented that i am a guy who cannot stand loneliness, he is right. am i lonely now? i honestly dont know, sometimes i feel happy because of the life i have now, other times i feel quite the opposite.
up till now the only places where i can identified with is my church cell and secondary school in China( perhaps of the reason that i joined it in sec 1, with everybody else?) and maybe my cca is going to be in the list soon.
i kept on thinking about how life would be like if i did not make these big decisions, i think one certain thing is that i will have more friends. if i was asked to name my best friends, i can only say 1. i am tired of being to outsider in the majority of the week, and only feel like i can be who i am during cell on saturday.
i pray to God that i will try harder to make friends, and be undeterred by other people's attitudes. i pray that i will make more friends in time to come, and stay connected to my old friends. i pray that i can be a listening ear, and there will be someone there for me to talk to when i am down. Amen
whew, longest post ever, and maybe i will take it down.Labels: personal problems
Posted by william the weirdo at 12:29 AM
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